>> as longer as long as they e still captioning sponsored by cbs >> president trump claiming he took a cognitive test recently that surprised his doctors. >> incidentally, i took the test, too, when i heard that you passed it. >> yeah, how did you do? well, it's not the hardest test. >> no, but the last -- there's a picture and it says, what's that? and it's an elephant. >> no, no --

sorry. what did he do? sorry. >> that's people's work. leave it be. >> he's an idiot. >> announcer: it's "a late show" with stephen colbert. tonight, everything's coming up covid. plus stephen welcomes andy cohen and musical guest phoebe bridgers.

featuring jon batiste and "stay homin." and now, live on tape from a safe distance, it's stephen colbert! >> stephen: welcome to "a late show." i'm your host stephen colbert. yesterday, for the 41st straight day, the seven-day average of new coronavirus infections in the u.s. went up. turns out doing nothing does nothing. but we're learning more about exactly why the administration is doing so little. part of the problem: white house chief of staff and toddler who refuses to go potty, mark meadows. apparently, behind the scenes, "has been particularly forceful in his view that the white house should avoid drawing attention to the virus." oh, yeah, whenever there's an historic crisis, the less said the better. like uncle sam said in those wartime recruitment posters: i want you... to fuggedaboutit."

you might be thinking, they completely shanked this pandemic, if only someone was on the tv everyday lying about it. great news. trooper is bringing about coronavirus briefings. too bad. hoping he was going to disappear with the warmer weather. >> we had record numbers watching. there's never been anything like it. >> stephen: of course they're watching! it's a captive audience! let's see, i could watch life saving information about the virus that could kill me and everyone i love or a rerun of diners, drive-ins and dives. ugh, this is the one where he chokes on a pork chop. too disturbing. corona it is!" it's an actual remote control. that's the budget you get with network. and remember, this spring, trump "quit holding the briefings after he was mocked widely for suggesting that people might be

able to counter the virus by ingesting or injecting bleach." he had huge ratings for the same reason he stopped doing them: because they were a disaster. (as trump) "you should've seen when that train derailed off the bridge. so many people stopped to watch it. sorry. my train just derailed. the president also gave an insight into the secret of his high ratings. >> i'll do it at 5 o'clock like we were doing. we had a good slot" >> stephen: (as trump) "we had a great slot. right before jeopardy, which is what i'm putting everyone's lives in." i'm not even sure how informative these things are going to be, because, according to aides, "president trump no longer attends coronavirus task force meetings because he does not have time." (as trump) "look, i'm way too busy to care about human life. -- what? there'll be cameras? make way for daddy." the president might finally be pretending to take the virus

seriously because, after months of eschewing masks, suddenly, he's 'schewing them. this afternoon, he tweeted "we are united in our effort to defeat the invisible china virus, and many people say that it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you can't socially distance. >> stephen: okay, first of all "invisible china virus"? all viruses are invisible. it's why you fight them with vaccines and not a matador. he continued, "there is nobody more patriotic than me, your favorite president!" which is it? you, or my favorite president? because at this point, you're not in my top 45. yeah, james k. polk. we got a preview of what the new coronavirus briefings will be like yesterday when trump did an interview on "fox news sunday" on sunday on fox news. he was interviewed by chris wallace, and they talked about-- and i'm rounding down here-- everything. the main topic was the still-raging coronavirus pandemic.

wallace pointed out that cases were up 194% nationwide, but trump wasn't worried. >> many of those cases are young people that would heal in a day. they have the sniffles and we put it down as a test. >> stephen: mr. president, you can't downplay this virus by calling it the sniffles. people aren't dying of "lung boo-boos" or "brain ouchies." he's also tried to minimize spikes in case numbers by calling them embers. and wallace called him on it: >> but this isn't burning embers, sir? this is a forest fire. >> no, no. but i don't say-- i say flames, we'll put out the flames. and we'll put out in some cases just burning embers. we also have burning embers. we have embers and we do have flames. florida became more flame- like. >> stephen: yes. florida has become more inflamed. and that's not easy. even before this, the state was 50% illegal fireworks, 32% meth lab explosions, 10% sunburn, and 8% herpes.

does that add up to 100? i think it might. i'm not sure. wallace continued to hold trump's feet to the embers, pointing out america's high mortality rate: >> we have the seventh highest mortality rate in the world. our mortality rate is higher than brazil, it's higher than russia. >> when you talk about mortality rates, i think it's the opposite. i think we have one of the lowest mortality rates in the world. >> it's not true, sir. we had-- we had 900 deaths on a single day. >> we will take a look. ready? can you please get me the mortality rates? kayleigh's right here. i heard we have one of the lowest, maybe the lowest mortality rate anywhere in the world. do you have the numbers, please? because i heard we had the best mortality rate. >> dr. birx points out and this is-- >> number one low mortality rates. >> stephen: wow, that's an impressive stat and it's completely wrong. can we see trump's source for that? kayleigh, can we see that? oh, great, here we go.

he got that stat out of his ass. there you go. thank you. thank you, kaylie. wallace called out trump's prediction that the virus would just "go away in the summer." >> you made mistakes too. >> i guess everybody makes mistakes. i'll be right eventually. i will be right eventually. >> stephen: you can't use "eventually" as an excuse for not doing your job. like a plumber saying: "oh, yeah, your toilet will stop overflowin' eventually. like if the building collapses, or the earth is consumed in the ever-expanding sun. or perhaps in the ultimate inertial heat death of the universe. what i'm saying is those legos are really jammed in there." wallace then asked trump about dr. fauci: >> he's a little bit of an alarmist. that's ok. a little bit of an alarmist. >> he's a bit of an alarmist? >> little bit of an alarmist. >> stephen: fauci's job is to sound the alarm about epidemics. i'm glad trump wasn't around during the revolutionary war. (as trump) "paul revere, little bit of an alarmist. there's one case of redcoats

coming and i'm pretty sure they'll disappear when it gets warmer. one if by land, two if by sea, none if by bleach." the conversation then turned t 2020 campaign, and trump had some choice made-up words about his opponent: >> biden wants to defund the police. >> sir, he does not. >> look, he signed a charter with bernie sanders; i will get that one just like i was right on the mortality rate. did you read the charter that he agrees-- >> it says nothing about defunding the police. >> stephen: come on, chris! trump idn't come on fox news to get fact-checked! talk to your colleagues! when trump lies, you put on a blank, dead stare, like your brain has turned into delicious polenta. here's where the interview got really sad. lately, trump has been bragging non-stop about passing a cognitive test. reminder: passing this test is not impressive. it checks for things like brain damage, asking real stumpers like "name these three animals."

making it the most difficult test trump has taken since the one where he had to get all the pee in the cup. it's chilling to see the most powerful man in the world bragging that he passed a test they give people to find out whether they should be allowed to take the bus by themselves. (as trump) "i nailed it, and you should see my apgar scores. the doctor touched me right here, i was able to find the nipple, and then i paid him $130,000." now wallace said he took the test, and it wasn't that hard. you got to identify an elephant. but trump pointed out the questions get way harder: >> it's all misrepresentation, because, yes, the first few questions are easy. but i'll bet you couldn't even answer the last five questions. i'll bet you couldn't. they get very hard. >> stephen: yes, those are the tough ones. according to a sample version of the test, the last five questions are, and this is real: name the day, month, year, place, and city. right now, i would say march

123rd, 2000 and-always, hell, and crazytown. just when you thought the trump presidency couldn't get any darker, we now have horrifying footage from portland, oregon of masked, unidentified federal troops snatching protesters off the streets without a warrant or any probable cause, and throwing them into unmarked vehicles. >> who are you? we'll get you out. what's your name tell us your name. >> what's your name? >> okay, you're ,fine we'll get you out. >> stephen: you know what's never associated with good news: unmarked vans. "hey, honey, i think the pizza's here. i'm not sure. there's no license plate. but the guy in the drivers seat is waving us over. c'mon! bring the kids!" this wasn't an isolated incident. here's another video of the feds hopping into an unmarked car. no. don't pull the door. i just pushed the button. just let it. just let it close. why do you always do that, hank? obviously this is chilling, but also, minivans? really?

if i'm going to be unaccountably rendered to a black-site, i don't want to hear this: "alright, get him in the back. wait, take out the baby seat." "i did take it out." "no you just took out the top. you left the base in." "oh, lord, it's full of cheerios and raisins. this is embarrassing. just give him the ipad, let him watch peppa pig while we figure it out. ahh it's all sticky." so who are these unmarked kidnappers? apparently, they are "officers from the u.s. marshals special operations group and u.s. customs and border protection's border patrol tactical unit." yes, they are tasked with patrolling mexico's long border with oregon. the customs boarder acting commissioner explained you will not see names on the uniforms because the same violent criminals use this information to target them and their families putting them both at

risk. it goes without saying docking is bad. i wish it went without saying having a secret police is way worse and is trump- stappo is not saying they're just following orders. they're saying they're just following executive orders. and portland mayor ted wheeler sees something sinister: >> "as best as i can tell, this is an effort - a last gasp effort - by a failed president with sagging polling data, who's trying to look strong for his base. he's actually using the federal police function in support of his candidacy." >> stephen: explains the new campaign slogan: "trump 2020 - get in the van!" today, in the oval office, trump defended his deployment of the feds. >> portland was totally out of control, the democrats, the liberal democrats running the place had no idea what they were doing. how about chicago? i read the numbers were many people killed over the weekend.

we're looking at chicago, too, we're looking at new york, look at what's going on. >> stephen: that's right, it's not just portland. they're going on tour as the secret police. ( to the tune of "roxanne" ) "unmarked van you don't have to read me miranda rights." but the department of homeland security reviewed the footage from the past week and admitted one mistake, that the federal officers deployed in portland didn't have proper training. yes, our jackbooted thugs didn't have proper training in kidnap etiquette! when you're putting the black bag over someone's head, you have to hold your pinkies out. there's one group standing up to tyranny: moms. saturday night, they made a human change between these thugs and the protesters. >> feds stay clear, moms are here! >> feds stay clear, moms are here! >> feds stay clear, moms are here!

>> stephen: you know things are bad when mom shows up. she's not mad, she's just disappointed that we no longer have constitutional rights. and, of course, the officers saw the group of mothers, reflected on what we have become as a country, and walked away. i'm just kidding, they shoved the moms and attacked with tear gas and flash grenades. you really think you can scare a group of moms?! they push entire humans out of their vaginas and then smile for a picture! and they do it just by breathing a lot! compared to that, tear gas is a walk in the episiotomy! don't know what that is? ask your mother! if you've got the guts. by the way, call your mother. we've got a great show for you tonight. "watch what happens live" host andy cohen is here. but when we come back, we'll talk about a friend we all lost this weekend, congressman john lewis. ♪ ♪ ♪

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start here at 2020census.gov. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back. this weekend, we lost a giant. friend of the show, friend of the america we all aspire to, congressman john lewis. to say he was a civil rights icon feels like an understatement. in the 1960s, he was among the original 13 freedom riders arrested in mississippi. he organized and participated in lunchcounter sit-ins, he led one of the most famous marches in american history across the edmund pettus bridge in selma, alabama, and along with mlk, he was a speaker at the march on washington when he was just twenty three years old. he'd already done more for the country at 23 than most do in a lifetime. at 23, i didn't think i was ready to be a dungeon master yet. congressman lewis' efforts to make this country better did not stop there.

he went on to serve the people of atlanta for over 30 years in the house and was referred to by his colleagues as, "the conscience of the congress." he must've been exhausted. he was like the angel on congress' shoulder, and on the other shoulder was congress. john lewis was a hero. that's a given. everybody knows that. but we tend to carve our heroes in marble and forget the other sides of them. like the fact that john lewis was fun. example number one: he wrote a graphic novel about himself-- already a baller move-- and then when he went to comic con in 2015 to promote it, he cosplayed as his younger self and led a march around comic con. give that man a shield, because that's captain america. what i love is how positive he stayed while fighting injustice. sometimes, he was just joyful. like this moment from 2018:

♪ ♪ ♪ motion to immediately put dancing john lewis on all of our money. ben franklin, you've had a good ride. throughout his career fighting for civil rights, lewis repeatedly put his body on the line, as a freedom rider, at the edmund pettus bridge, and then, at the age of 76, crowd-surfing the audience at the ed sullivan theater. not only does that remind us of how joyful he was, but it reminds me of a better time when it was okay for a crowd of strangers to touch an old man. or, for that matter, to be a crowd of strangers. over the weekend, people were paying their respects to john lewis. and some were paying their respects to who they thought was john lewis. like senator marco rubio, who posted this tribute on twitter: "it was an honor to know and be blessed with the opportunity to serve in congress with john lewis, a genuine and historic

american hero." a lovely sentiment, one problem: that's not john lewis. that is the late congressman elijah cummings. a giant in his own right, but not john lewis. but still better than rubio's first draft: "it was an honor to know john lewis. not only was he a civil rights icon, but he led the chicago bulls to six nba championships." i'm not the only one who interviewed john lewis, though. so did jon batiste: >> jon: in 1961, the same year that president barack obama was born, black people and white people couldn't be seated together on a greyhound or tailway bus, even in washington. in 1961, my seatmate was a young white gentlemon. the two of us left washington and arrived in south carolina at the bus station. a group from the klan met us and left us lying in the pool of

blood when we tried to enter this so-called white waiting room. this was may 1961. many years later, to be exact, in february 2009, one member of the klan, one of the guys who was beating us in the '70s came to my office in washington with his son in his 40s, and he said, mr. lewis, i'm one of the people that beat you and your seatmate. he said, will you forgive me? i want to apologize. and his son started crying. he started crying. and i said, i accept your apology. i forgive you. they hugged me, i hugged them back, and i started crying. and that's the power of the way of peace, of the way of love and nonviolence. as dr. king said, hate is too heavy a burden to bear. >> jon: hate is too heavy a burden to bear. >> yes. >> jon: mmm... love is a better way. so all of the people that beat

me and arrested me and threw me in jail, i don't have any ill feeling at all, not at all. >> jon: mmm. i feel free. >> jon: whew. i feel good. i feel free. >> stephen: jon's with us now. hello, jon. >> jon: hello. how you doing, stephen? >> stephen: that was a beautiful conversation you were having with congressman lewis. there's a ten-man version we'll put up online tonight. wonderful to see you two together. what was it like to spend that time with him and what did john lewis mean to you? >> jon: >> jon: he is such an ideal to me, of who i aspire to be in life. he embodies the symptoms of holiness, he exists as a truly

righteous person. everything that's left in his wake -- the thing politically, socially, culturally, everything we've learned in how to march, how to be revolutionaries without holding hate in our heart -- everything we've learned from his life example is the definition of righteousness -- love, joy, patience, kindness, self-controe things, to see a person embody that in front of you is proof that not only is it possible but an invitation to all of us to be great. he is inviting us to our greatness. >> stephen: well, however john lewis would describe himself -- >> jon: right. >> stephen: everyone described him as a giant. i did tonight. all these remembrances of him over the weekend, they called him a giant. >> jon: absolutely. >> stephen: but the thing about knowing that there are giants living out there is that,

in some ways, it allows you not to take the responsibility to to the right thing. you can put all of that necessity for moral behavior on them. >> jon: right. >> stephen: on the theory of them, on the idea that they're there. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: the philosophical, the ethical. >> jon: right. >> stephen: the responsibility of love goes on that person who did that thing that you could never do. >> jon: i could never do, and it becomes impractical for you. >> stephen: right. but when they die, the memory of that person, in some ways, is an accusation. the beauty of john lewis is an accusation that you are not standing tall enough. >> jon: right. >> stephen: and that -- and i like what you said -- it is an invitation. it's an invitation to stand up and to do the right thing when you can. and that it is holy. it is a call to holiness in that

it's a call to wholeness, the whole of your humanity. >> jon: exactly right. >> stephen: because that's what he's talking about in that clip we just saw between you and him is he's talking about -- >> jon: -- a burden to bear. >> stephen: exactly. he is accepting his own suffering, the suffering to have man who made him suffer. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: and he's accepting the whole of his humanity. it is an achievable thing. >> jon: right. >> stephen: but an extremely hard thing to do. >> jon: yes. >> stephen: and i am left with the beauty of his life and the example and the invitation and, on a small level, the accusation that all of us should stand up. >> jon: mm-hmm, absolutely. his life invites us to stand up and to be human, to be whole. >> stephen: is there any music that comes to you when you think of john lewis? >> jon: oh, the grace. ♪ ♪

♪ >> stephen: thank you, jon. >> jon: thank you, stephen. >> stephen: and thank you, john lewis. we'll be right back with andy cohen. stick around. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ never run dry of... killer attitude. or hydration. neutrogena® hydro boost. the #1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer delivers 2x the hydration for supple, bouncy skin. neutrogena®. ♪ scratch that, ♪baby, i'm grateful. ♪ ♪ got to say it's really been a while ♪ ♪ but now i got back that smile. smile. ♪ check everything off the list with lower prices and hundreds of deals. get ready for school at target.

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hi. what's on your mind?in. can you help keep these guys protected online? easy. connect to the xfi gateway. what about wireless data options for the family? you can customize and save. what about internet speeds that can keep up with my gaming? let's hook you up with the fastest internet from xfinity. and now with our stores reopening, we're putting healthy practices in place. come visit a store today. stop in or book an appointment online at a time that works for you. now that's simple, easy, awesome. ask. shop. discover at your local xfinity store today. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back. hi jon. >> stephen: you know him as the host of "watch what happens live" and the force behind so many shows on bravo. his latest is the animated quibi series "the andy cohen diaries." please welcome to "a late show," andy cohen! hello, andy cohen. >> well, hello there! you going for a pony tail or

what's the end game there, man? >> stephen: i'm getting -- look at that lettuce back there. >> yeah! >> stephen: look at that. you could make a cobb salad, baby. >> absolutely, party in the back, dude. >> stephen: and party in the frt. look at that. come on! >> yeah! >> stephen: how about you? you're looking wavy, hippie-dippy. you got a kiss curl right up there. >> yes, i do. yes, i do. >> stephen: is this going to be permanent now? is this going to survive the quarantine, this new look? you're casual with a little skin, obviously selling a little tickets. >> i always like to show something here, but i love not wearing a suit on "what happens live." you were on my show months ago and you're still in the same spot, your hair is longer, your

wife is now doing your floor direction. >> stephen: my wife evie is now my crew over here. i know, i know. there are some aspects of it that are pleasant that we get to see into the stars' homes. that's nice. >> that's fun. >> stephen: what's your experience been like, you know, hosting? >> you know, it's odd because does it feel like you tid a real show when you're done? and one of the things that i love about the experience of doing my show is not just the interaction with my guests or my audience, but i love hanging out, you know, shooting the crap with my staff, and, so, i force them to do a kind of a debrief after every episode over zoom, and it has gotten so uncomfortable, because there's all these boxes just sitting there looking at me, and they look like i'm holding them

hostage, which at this point i think i am. they want to go back to their life, but i want to be like, hey, we just did a show! let's talk! >> stephen: well, hold on a second here. so "watch what happens live," is it live? >> at this moment, we are not live. >> stephen: that's against the law, then. you have to call it "watch what happened a couple of hours ago." >> yeah, we're putting it together with scotch tape and staples at this point. i don't know even know how the show is being trance mid. if we were low-tech before, i don't know even know what it is. >> stephen: i have been on your show several times, it's a lovely experience, but it does feel a little like, hey, my dad has a tv studio, let's put on a show tonight. it's casual. >> thank you for considering me a dad. >> stephen: you are a dad. i actually am a dad. but also, i could tell you what every celebrity's wi-fi strength

is. >> stephen: who's got wi-fi game? >> goldie hawn, great. oliver hudson, her son, poor. the entire cal l calabasis regif california, poor. i hear even the kardashians have very poor wi-fi. >> stephen: wow. that's what i hear. >> stephen: that is shocking. one of the silver elinings of the last few months for me has been more time with my family. now, yo you're a new dad. you go to work, still at home, you end work, you're already there. what's that been like to spend more time with family? >> it's so great. i truly get to put him to bed and wake him up every morning, and i'm with him. we have activities every morning, and we're together so much. >> stephen: that's the teaser, what's the activities?

>> activities. >> stephen: what activities do you do? >> oh, my gosh, we throw rocks in the water. we go to the dump. one of my favorite things to do is go to the dump in sag harbor, the town dump, and there are alwaysaways there and i sort my stuff. i feel very accomplished. he seems to love it. >> stephen: wait a second, there are alwaysaways there. >> i'll show you something i got at the town dump. >> stephen: he's bringing some garbage. >> they often have books they're giving away. what about this sally jesse rafael paper back. >> stephen: you could learn a lot. >> got that at the dump. >> stephen: there's worse advice. >> yeah. >> stephen: so how old is ben now? >> ben is 17 months. >> stephen: okay. and, you know, he's so great and he's so fun and he's such a

good boy. every morning, i look in that diaper to see what kind of poop he's serving meup. >> stephen: sure. but i got to tell you, i'm starting to get paranoid because i have no poker face. so my reaction to his poop is so oversized, and if it's a messy poop or there's corn or something in there i don't want to deal with, i literally am, like -- ( gagging ) -- and he looks at me and i feel terrified i'm going to constipate this child or make him constipated because i'm reacting so crazily. but if it's full of rocks which are easy to navigate, i'm great. >> stephen: he will value your honesty. that's what he's learning from you, emotional honesty. >> very good. i should have a sip of his sippy cup while i talk to you. >> stephen: oh! oh, that's good.

by the way, speaking of sippy cups, what's it like to host your show because i have been there a few times, you ply your guests with ample alcohol before you ever go on the show, and it greases the wheels of the conversation. what's it like now talking to sober guests? >> i know they're mainly sobe and i'm mainly sobe, too. >> stephen: you have to be because you have to be ready to deal with the diaper. >> i know. >> stephen: it's one of the challenges. >> it's also not 11:00 when i'm doing it. i'm not a big day drinker. i can be a roseé all day guy. >> stephen: sure. as a dad. >> stephen: as a dad, it's good not to be a day drinker. >> it's odd, you know, but people come to my studio, and it's so small and they really don't believe we're actually transmitting a broadcast out of there. >> stephen: i will tell you, this is a true story, i'm telling america this, not you. this is a true story. when you go on, watch what

happens live, which is a delightful experience. but one to have the unnerving parts of it is that you enter -- you the host start of start the show so casually that i have been on three times now, something like that, or four including the zoom one, and go, has the show started? we were just talking. is this broadcast? what did i say? and then you're sort of in commercial break and you go, wait, are we in commercial break or recording now. >> it's cobb fusing. >> stephen: i think it's purposeful. >> i will say it does carry over. people in this format, do they know whether they're on tv or not or on their computer? >> stephen: hold on, we should start recording some of the conversation. >> okay, good. >> stephen: we have to take a quick break but stick around, everybody. back with more andy cohen. ♪ ♪ ♪ prices. st we give you both. switch your family from at&t or verizon to t-mobile

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, everybody, we're back with star of stage and screen andy cohen. tell me about your new animated series "the andy cohen diaries" on quibi. >> yeah, it's on quibi, and i wrote two versions -- or two additions of the "the andy cohen diaries." >> stephen: i remember. that were published.

now i'm writing new entries, and they're animated, which is awesome, because anyone i come in contact with, i can just animate them into the show, it's great. >> stephen: it's about the only things still in production right now. late night shows and animation. >> exactly. it's a really fun show. >> stephen: the first episode is when you had celine dion. >> i had celine dion on the show which is a big get for us. we're such huge fans of hearse and had so much fun. i have been doing "watch what happens live" for eleven years, and i've only passed gas in front of two guests. one was real housewives of beverly hills yolanda hadid, and the other was the greatest singer of all time miss celine dion. so i wrote about that eperience. >> stephen: did she notice.

unclear. i was fanning my cards wildly as we came back from break, and i have to assume that she wondered why i was gesticulating wildly. but, again, as you know, my studio is so small. >> stephen: it is tiny. that i have to assume that -- i don't know. >> stephen: that's the great thing about the ed sullivan theater. >> it's cavernous and it's cold. but it begs the question - >> stephen: yes. -- have you ever experienced this in front of a guest? >> stephen: i'm afraid that's all we have time for, andy. "the andy cohen diaries" is on quibi now. andy cohen, everybody. we'll be right back with a performance by phoebe bridgers. ♪ ♪ ♪ instinctto protect. that's why they trust raid 'ant and roach' to quickly protect their family. raid. america's most trusted insect control brand.

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♪ ♪ ♪ >> stephen: welcome back. performing "kyoto" from her new album, "punisher," ladies and gentlemen, phoebe bridgers! ♪ day off in kyoto

i got bored at the temple ♪ looked around at the 7-11 the band took the speed train ♪ went to the arcade i wanted to go but i didn't ♪ you called me from a payphone they still got pay phones ♪ it cost a dollar a minute to tell me you're getting sober ♪ and you wrote me a letter but i don't have to read it ♪ i'm gonna kill you if you don't beat me to it ♪ dreaming through tokyo skies i wanted to see the world ♪ then i flew over the ocean and i changed my mind

♪ ♪ ♪ sunset's been a freak show on the weekend ♪ so i've been driving out to the suburbs ♪ to park at the goodwill and stare at the chem trails ♪ with my little brother he said you called on his ♪ birthday you were off by like ten days ♪ but you get a few points for trying ♪ remember getting the truck fixed ♪ when you let us drive it twenty-five felt like flying ♪ i don't forgive you but please don't hold me to it ♪ born under scorpio skies

i wanted to see the world ♪ through your eyes until it happened ♪ then i changed my mind guess i lied ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm a liar who lies ♪ ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm a liar >> stephen: thank you, phoebe. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪

>> stephen: well, that's it for "a late show," even. tune in tomorrow when my guest will be greta thunberg. goodnight. now let's say goodnight with an extnded cut of american hero rep. john lewis crowd-surfing. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪

♪ captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show ♪ oh, oh it's the late late show ♪ captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by cbs ♪ the late late show, oh, oh the late late show ♪ oh, oh it's the late late show ♪